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Scared to ride my new horse after 3 weeks

Discussion in 'Confidence Club' started by Seton, Sep 27, 2018.

  1. Kite_Rider

    Kite_Rider Cantering cabbage!

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    I don’t know lots about horses and I am by no means a good rider but in my limited experience TBs are very very quick to react, sometimes explosively so as you have found. You need to keep yourself safe and if you were so scared by what happen that it’s keeping you awake you need some help from someone, let’s hope his old owner can show you how good he is again but in the mean time I would be walking him out and about, keep it short and sweet and make sure you are wearing your hat, gloves and boots and lead him in his bridle with a lunge line attached in case he has a moment, stay calm, you know he can be good, you know the area, so set off with purpose and take charge if he wobbles a bit, baby steps and remember all of this is new to him, owner, yard, companions, it’s all going to unsettle him, it unsettles most horses for a wee while.
    Good luck and let us know how you get on.
     
    Trewsers likes this.
  2. domane

    domane Chatterbox

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    Hiya and welcome. Lots of good advice here. I would also advocate walking him out in-hand in his bridle with a 12ft line. Try to stay chilled and relaxed, as if you were walking a dog, but if he gets stressy do allow him to move his feet so let him walk circles around you if necessary. Trying to restrain him or make him stand will only wind him up and increase his adrenaline so letting him use his feet will keep him calmer. He's obviously still settling in but the bucking definitely is unusual.
     
    Trewsers and Kite_Rider like this.
  3. Seton

    Seton New Member

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    Hello all... just an update for you. I did try to walk him in-hand but that didn’t work, he started stressing, jogging, it’s amazing how big they can look when their head is so high, there was no way he was going to walk calm :( My confidence is shot with him.

    Anyway my husband and I decided that he’s not the one for me and I have to just accept that mistakes happen and he’s more than I can handle. Such a sweetie on the ground but more than I can cope with or have the experience to further educate. The previous owner is taking him back so my search continues....

    Not the best of starts to my dream but you live and learn. Thank you guys for all the positive comments and I’ll be back soon with hopefully my new best friend :D
     
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  5. Seton

    Seton New Member

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    Lots of things here are so true.....plus previous owner told me that getting off was wrong and That he’s. I’m lost all confidence in me, not helpful when I was feeling teary and fragile. :(

    Oh yes I totally agree, I just meant schooling in an arena :oops:, hence I chose my yard based on location and hacking and not a sand school :rolleyes:
     
  6. Seton

    Seton New Member

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    Lots of things here are so true.....plus previous owner told me that getting off was wrong and That now he’s lost all confidence in me :eek: not helpful when I was feeling teary and fragile. :( Previously she told me to give him a smack if he played up but I know that would make him worse

    Oh yes I totally agree, I just meant schooling in an arena :oops:, hence I chose my yard based on location and hacking and not a sand school :rolleyes:
     
  7. Jane&Ziggy

    Jane&Ziggy Learning together!

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    Well, that sounds like the right decision for you at your stage. I'm glad the previous owner took him back, and good luck in finding something more suitable.
     
  8. Bodshi

    Bodshi Well-Known Member

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    I agree, far better to admit that you're not suited and give both horse and rider a chance of finding a suitable match. Don't be disheartened by the previous owner's comments either. You did what you needed at the time to stay safe and consequently both came home in one piece. If you hadn't dismounted and the horse had thrown you goodness knows what could have happened. The 'give him a smack' option only works if the rider is totally confident in what they're doing IMO.

    Good luck with your new search. If you tell us what you're looking for you never know, someone on here may know of something, but in any case a lot of us like an excuse to trawl the horse adverts :D
     
    OwnedbyChanter likes this.
  9. domane

    domane Chatterbox

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    Nothing wrong with admitting you're over-horsed..... I wish a lot more people would! I see so many bad partnerships where people have picked the horse that they want, rather than the horse that they need.
     
    OwnedbyChanter likes this.
  10. carthorse

    carthorse Well-Known Member

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    For what it's worth I think you've done the right thing. I didn't post earlier, but my initial reaction on reading your post was that he wasn't & wouldn't be the horse for you & your best bet would be to put him in sales livery & sell on or try to get him a place in a racehorse rehoming charity - I was partly wrong, the owner having him back is a better option.

    Good luck with finding something more suitable.
     
    OwnedbyChanter likes this.
  11. newforest

    newforest She's not fat, she's too short :-)

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    Please tell me you didn't buy an ex racer as your first horse? Mistakes happen and you have done the right thing for him. But the owner was partly irresponsible to sell a novice owner a horse that hadn't been reschooled from a racer to a ridden horse.
    A lot of what you decribe is perfectly normal and looked for in a racer. A slow walk is described as flat and that in the morning could mean a horse being pulled it off race for being off colour.

    Let us know how the search goes. We like looking btw :D
     
  12. Kite_Rider

    Kite_Rider Cantering cabbage!

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    As everyone else has said there is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting you are over horsed, I certainly think you've done the right thing and it's a bonus that his previous owner has taken him back, confidence at our age is very fragile and once it's gone it's very hard to get it back, as I said before I've been where you are and it's stressful, disheartening and hard work both physically and emotionally, but, now the pressure is off you can go and find a nice calm horse who you will regain your confidence with and have lots of fun hacking out with.
    Good luck and please let us know how you get on.
     
  13. Seton

    Seton New Member

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    Thank you all :oops: Better to admit these things early as you say. No point in both of us being unhappy. Will keep you updated and will try and contribute to the other forums if I can :)
     
  14. Seton

    Seton New Member

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    Hi, just to let you know that he’s now back with his previous owner. Newforest...he wasn’t my first horse, but my fourth horse after a ten year break, but I agree, not the best move I’ve made.

    I’ve seen a nice 19 year old looking for his forever home so am going to take a look at the weekend. I think a golden oldie is the way forward. He sounds very steady :)
     
    #33 Seton, Oct 4, 2018
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2018
  15. carthorse

    carthorse Well-Known Member

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    Just remember that with one that age you may start to run up vet bills &/or have to start limiting what you do - is that what you want when you're getting back into ownership?

    Are you actually riding at the moment? If you aren't then maybe it would be worth shelving plans to buy for a while & getting back into riding at a good school or even hacking centre. That way when you buy you can look at what you want rather than what you can cope with after a 10 year break. I've never stopped riding, but I know that after a few years on an easier, less powerful horse I couldn't get straight on the equivalent of my previous one & ride it - skills get rusty, reactions aren't as sharp & the core strength is less.
     
    OwnedbyChanter and newforest like this.
  16. Skib

    Skib Well-Known Member

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    Just to agree with Carthorse. I shared an older mare - a semi retirement carefully arranged for both of us by her owner. But she had times turned away and her capabilities were limited. I wouldnt buy an old horse myself. The overheads in health, vet etc are high.

    Plus behaviour wise, an old horse isnt always easy. I knew her as had had lessons on her for years (while hacking another) but she could be a right so and so. No staff on the yard would hack her. And they told me why after she died. You have to be really devoted to an elderly horse and know how to adjust their behaviour to enjoy them.
     
  17. eml

    eml Moderator

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    Sorry to hear of your problems. There is a reason the ROR motto is 'trained to race retrained for fun'.
    Sadly many people do not realise the proper retraining requires starting from the abolute beginning as the horse will not have been taught conventional aids.I realiseo you are no longer involved but i would ask anyone to get help from the ROR who can put wu in touch with alocal network with experienced TB trainers
     
  18. Seton

    Seton New Member

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    I have a very good friend who has rehomed 4, but sadly as you read, he wasn’t the horse sold to me. But I’ve dealt with it early on and he’s now going to p2p this season. I think he’ll be much happier...
     
  19. Jane&Ziggy

    Jane&Ziggy Learning together!

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    I'm glad you got it sorted so soon. Sometimes people struggle on and it's very hard all round. Good luck with finding a replacement that suits you.
     
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